1. Zomaar een surfdag in Scheveningen, 12 januari 2007.

2. De Special met het Ongetemd hart is te koop bij Sublime surfshop in de Keizerstraat.

3. Surfster Gloria Savoia in het Ongetemd team.

4. Ongetemd Feesten groeit uit zijn jasje en gaat naar het Paard van Troje.

5. Opeens een Ongetemde winter!

I have to say… that particular question just gives me a certain proportion of satisfaction.. the kind of satisfied that I can’t explain because it seems to be too rhetorical, but definitely the kind that makes me feel as if I stole a cookie out of the cookie jar…  yep, it must be something like that.

Really.. I know.. that doesn’t make sense but I ques that’s exactly  what I like about it. Anyway, the fact is there is another total eclipse of the moon and this whole total lunar eclipse thing is forcing me to express myself in many ways…. yeah I know it’s sad.. even on facebook, but come on now.. you are reading this right now are you not???

So what I’m really trying to say is: Today I met a person (wow). And that particular person asked me what I was doing here. Ahw no, Here we go again…. whyyyyy?? First of all, I don’t like that question! Second of all I really don’t like any questions that come anything remotely close to that one! And third of all.. those first 2 actually, really.. well maybe just mean that I have no clue of what I’m doing here!  Which makes this subject very painful seeing that people like answers to their questions and expect you to at least give them some form of evidence of your awareness. What??? Like I said… I don’t like that question… period.

But off course I’m trying to come up with something that will at least make it look like I have any goals in Life. But.. unfortunately I went down this familiar road a bunch of times allready and the answer still remains the same… euhh… At the moment I couldn’t make anything more of it, so I threw in a quick.. “I was just gonna ask you that, what a coincidence (something I by the way do NOT believe in)”. Well…. I got away with that one, once or twice, but this person in question was determined to find out what was going on in my mind.. Not only that.. but the person also insisted on me telling the full uncensored version of my story. Great! Now that was probably the result of my 4 seconds of silence combined with my slightly disturbed body language, dammit this person is good!!!

Ok, lets deal with this as quick as possible and get this subject off the train. So.. In my mind there was only one way to deal with “these kind of people” Simply present them the short truth! Answer is: ”Well to be honest I don’t really know exactly what I’m doing here… but euhhm.. it makes me happy that i AM here.”

Off course I already reconsidered that instead of making this a quick and easy off the brush conversation, there was also the possibility that this person would not just take this for granted.. So I wanted to start praying.. because I knew this subject had great potential to lead into one of those serious, almost never ending discussions about this thing called LIFE. But before I could figure out in which “God” I believe in, this person said the one thing I was hoping not to hear…

“What do you mean, I don’t know?? There must be something you are doing here.. anything?? Ooohw I know what it is.. You.. my little friend.. you are looking for something! That’s it, isn’t it? (I decided to apply my right to remain silence on this one, but unfortunately this person was not a quitter..) “So tell me.. no really tell me.. What ARE you looking for?? I mean, what are you really, really looking for”. I should have used my instincts on this one and start running… real fast and far, but instead I gave it a thought… and that’s when ‘it’ happened!!!

My mind… it went completely blank… there was nothing! At first I thought it was kinda spooky, no thoughts, no feelings.. just Nothing!! I’ve been trying to find this nirvana for years while trying to meditate.. empty the mind, to fill the mind, you know what I’m saying. But no matter how hard i tried, my mind was always occupied.. running over hours.. I always just figured it was that way because I’m not a man of many words. So I would look at myself in the mirror sitting in the meditation position and would eventually just laugh at myself.. are you kidding Glow??? Get outta there and make yourself useful… go catch a wave or something!

But Today… I felt it… it was completely empty.. awesome!

I totally forgot about ‘the person’ and I must’ve looked like a total retard. But that was the last thing I was worried about. After that moment I just stood there with a smile on my face completely satisfied and fulfilled. The person then told me this.. ”Ohw don’t worry about it my little friend.. you are probably just looking for yourself, I’m sure that’s it honey.”
To me that sounded more like pity then something that the person actually believed in but if that was the solution to end this awkward interaction, I’d be very gladly to say Amen to that one!

And in a way I did find myself.. I found myself a little proud of myself.. because I cracked this person.. this person actually stopped asking me all these questions I don’t have answers to.. hah.. a quitter after all! Or maybe just smart enough to know that trying to figure out my mode d’emploi would be useless, seeing that I struggle hard enough with that one myself. The person said good bye and walked off.. fast and far. I smiled and thought  ”Look who’s having a slightly disturbed body language now!’”

Anyway to make a long story short(er), I now know what ‘they’ mean with empty the mind to fill the mind (I was born a month early). Because my mind got filled with thoughts after that and once again I reminded myself that most of my thoughts about people and things keep changing… there is not logic to be found in thoughts like that at all… I could write them down and tomorrow I wont recognize those thought as my own anymore.

Well I think we all know that things change.. and they change fast except for the things you want to change fast, because to my believes you’re giving it too much consideration. But on the other hand, while everything is changing so rapidly,  I find my Dreams to remain fairly the same, a solid vision of a gorgeus fantasy a  I can project all my thoughts to in a heartbeat, dreams that I can hold on to when things aren’t looking so pretty or when a bad experience robs me from my positive state of mind. And even when some one asks me that damn question again.. what I’m am doing here. Well… I have Dreams. How about you?

And???  Have I found myself?? Hellll nooo!! I still haven’t got a clue really, but the fact is I’m not even looking for myself… I’m not looking for answers, I’m not looking for God, I’m not looking for Love, I’m not looking for….anything really. I’m just enjoying my journey.. heaven is over rated.. to my believes heaven is here and now.. with all its good and all its bad! I feel great today and tomorrow maybe I wont, but it still would be great, because I’m alive.. even the things and experiences  that make me feel real bad make sense to me.. they also make me feel alive, they scientifically make me a human being. And remind me that there might be only one life to live.. or maybe 2 or 3 or 9 depends in which ‘God’ or ‘Universe’ or ‘Greater Power’ you believe in, I have my own beliefs, but those beliefs would just lead into another story about this thing called ‘life” I won’t bore you with that much.

But I’ve learned that everything is unfolding perfectly.. at it’s own pace… so why should i be looking for something??? I stopped looking a long time ago.. I just started believing instead. Believing in my dreams! And what happened was… I wasn’t looking anymore but finding! You don’t look for love in something or some one or some place… you simply find it.

Gratitudes for today: Thanks for all my friends & family who inspire me greatly, who encourage me to follow my dreams, even when they seem ridiculously out of reach. I feel so blessed with the friends surrounding me, they’ve been throwing quotes at me I’ll never forget and helping me in ways I can never repay them. They encourage me to be me and I love to respect them for being them. You are all a bunch of Guru’s!!

I’m grateful for all of my experiences, the ones I have by myself and the ones I share with others.. for all the lessons I’ve learned and the ones still to come. And specially grateful for mother nature who gives me everything I need when I don’t have anything at all!

Damn!!! I think I’m gonna write a book now………..Peace out!!!!!!
♥ Luv you Glow

Gloria heeft na een dik half jaar Hawaii haar koffers al weer gepakt op naar een nieuwe bestemming. Van wat wij mee krijgen van haar op zijn tijd heeft ze het prima naar zin. Op Naar Gloria!

Ken je dat voorpret? Gloria op bezoek bij Abezat om haar nieuwe boardje te bewonderen.